Oh Baby You! You Got What I Need!

"Every Man's Nightmare, Most Womens' Dream"

Happy Monday Everyone. I had an interesting discussion with one of my friends on Google Chat today. Coincidentally some of my best, most enlightening convos have come by way of Google Chat. I have no idea why, maybe it’s the binary code, or the html. *Shrugs* before you know it, your discussing politics, crimes, friends, love, is the grape Kool-Aid better than the red? Or, when will Snoop Dogg finally cut his hair? Etc... You know those kinds of convos.

 Todays topic is  Most  Every man’s nightmare and Every Most womens' dream. I’m talking about...(opens the envelope) PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP! AGHHH!!!!

Without going into to much detail, this friend of mine (who is of the opposite sex) , who for privacy reasons we will call ...ehh.. call her Lisa. Lisa was in a pretty shitty mood, and it was not because it was Monday morning, or because she forgot to return two movies to Redbox before 9pm.  Being the Original Gentleman that I am, I inquired, what could make a college educated, able bodied, sound minded, long hair don’t care sister with caramel brown skin in such a bad mood? 

FIVE WORDS:

Lisa: “That ni**a just wanna fuck!

AGHHHH!!!!!

Excuse my obscenity, please note that I changed and paraphrased a few words for privacy reasons as well. And by a few, I mean all.

Lisa and countless other woman, and a few men believe that platonic friendship between a homosapien man and a homosapien women can exist. Ha.

Me? I know better. Granted, there are a few exceptions to every rule. In Platonic Friendship Law 101, we not only have exceptions, but amendments, (ladies and their gay best friends), by-laws (both parties are in committed relationship) and pinky promises (staying friends despite growing differences,).

Ladies love to sight that, “Hey I have a male friend, and our friendship is platonic, and he does not even like me like that!”, finished off with a neck roll a finger snap and hip shot. 

Well excuse the hell outta me.

My friend, you are mistaken. The truth is, he did try something, you just never noticed.  If he hasn’t thought about it, at least one of his homeboy's had to ask, “Yo why you ain’t hitting that?”

Before we move on let’s take a look at the meaning of the word “platonic”. Webster defines platonic as: “ not amorous or sensual but purely spiritual”

Not amorous (loving) or sensual. Show of hands... 

How many of you have opposite sex platonic friends? 

How many of those opposite sex friends have you slept with or thought about sleeping with? 

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not all about just jiggling groins and locking lip muscles.  

For those of you with your hand still raised, 

How many of you have thought about dating, or having a future with these opposite sex friends.? For the 3 people still with their hands raised, Congratulations... you are still single.

As soon as one person acts on, thinks about, ponders, or discusses any thing more than just being “platonic” friends, then the relationship is not longer “platonic”. Once one person acknowledges any type of interest, the existence of the platonic force field no longer exists. Re- Read that again... go ahead... I’ll wait.

From that point on you are “Just Friends”. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being “Just Friends”. I myself have a few  “Just Friend” females, and I’m sure my girlfriend and many other ladies have a few  “Just Friend” males. 

Please, lets’ not lie to ourselves any longer and say its platonic.  

It’s a lot to swallow (That’s what she said) ;-)   I’ll leave you guys, so that tonight’s discussion can marinate in your brains. I’m off to enjoy my midnight meal, and a few libations. Cha Cha out.

Stay tuned for tomorrow discussion, “If they’re such a Good Catch, Why Not Date Them?”

I Am We.